


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 13 The Ultimate Doom, Part 3

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [14]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Links, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic Length: 20-30 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-20 18:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18998062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: In which our hosts finish the Ultimate Doom 3-parter, Sparkplug is finally rescued from the Decepticons, robots ON SURFBOARDS, and Megatron really is indestructible!?!





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 13 The Ultimate Doom, Part 3

**Author's Note:**

> If you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript!

[Stinger]

O: And uh, you're wearing my corpse which is you know, horrifying.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs.

O: Today we're gonna be talking about episode number 13: The Ultimate Doom, part 3. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yup, yup, yup.

O: So, last time on the Transformers--evil Shaggy has amassed an army of evil mind controlled slaves, Megatron succeeded in bringing Cybertron into Earth's orbit and Sparkplug has betrayed his own son.

S: We open as we closed last time with a Spike, Bumblebee, and Brawn on Cybertron confronting a mind-controlled Sparkplug...who has alerted the Decepticons to their presence.

O: They attempt an escape.

S: Badly! Super fucking badly!

O: [laughter] With Bumblebee running headfirst into Shockwave’s knees.

S: This poor boy does not look before he leaps!

O: No, no that's Cliffjumper’s job!

S: True.

O: Anyway, Brawn gets the brilliant idea to try to escape this using the oldest trick in the book.

S: Pretending to be peddlin’ some shit.

O: To Shockwave!

S: Yeah, magazines I think? I don’t know.

O: Something like that.

S: Soundwave, Thundercracker, and Skywarp also enter the room.

O: Brawn further earns my ire by shooting Soundwave at point-blank range and calling him tall, dark, and gruesome. How dare you insult my Big Blue Boy you bastard!?!

S: Sparkplug blocks the oddly tiny door to keep them from escaping. I mean...okay?

O: But seriously--I'm pretty sure Shockwave would have to crawl to be able to use this exit!

S: I'm just gonna go with they're probably--they probably just fucked up perspective.

O: Probably, but that’s not what it looked like. Like--it looked like it was about like um, Sparkplug’s height or something or not that much taller than him?

S: Yeah, well this show makes no sense sometimes so let's--let's ignore that for now. Shockwave shoots Brawn.

O: YAY!

S: But then Skyfire, Trailbreaker and Wheeljack show up to save their sorry butts.

O: I mean also yay, but mostly just because Wheeljack and Skyfire are there now.

S: And they’re cool dudes.

O: I like them both.

S: The tiny door is apparently a bother to no one but Skyfire, so I'm going with yeah, probably stupid perspective stuff. Uh, Shockwave unintentionally provides him with a hole big enough to escape through by shooting at him and then blowing up the wall instead because they all went to the goddamn stormtrooper school of shooting.

O: Well that the poor guy only has one optic. I mean are we gonna pull a Futurama here and say he's got no depth perception and can't shoot worth shit?

S: Yes, but the thing is it's easier to--actually no, let’s just not get into that.

O: No, no let's not go into that. The Autobots escape, exploding Thundercracker and Starscream in the process, apparently. I'm pretty sure both of them are on Earth and that these are just random other seekers but whatever.

S: Probably random--random dudes, just reused color schemes, yeah. They regroup at Wheeljack’s old lab, which the Decepticons--uh, the Decepticons miss this and like, drive right past.

O: So it turns out that Bumblebee picked up a giant ass CD while in the Decepticon headquarters that just so happens to show the chip behind Sparkplug’s ear.

S: And cut to more robots...surfing.

O: ROBOTS SURFING ON SURFBOARDS!

S: And Optimus is just bracketed on both sides by Ironhide and Ratchet. Cuz, of course he's gotta have the two matching dudes like--

O: Of course!

S: --like, ugh, I forget the word...flanking him!

O: A giant tidal wave comes up from behind and Bluestreak (somehow) pulls ahead of the group while freaking out about its eminent arrival.

S: Of course he does. I don't know, he's got super panic powers.

O: [laughs] The powers of panic! So clearly what you're telling me is Bluestreak and Shaggy run on the same ability.

S: I guess, yeah. Optimus says to maintain speed and if they stay out in front of the wave they'll get there faster?

O: I don't see thrusters on those surfboards. Optimus, this is not how surfboards work, thank you!

S: I mean maybe there's something underwater that we don't see, but who the hell knows.

O: I still don't think that's how this works.

S: I don't know! Evil Shaggy has got his slaves working on a “sea funnel,” to route the tidal wave’s energy and create Energon. He warns Starscream that the structure isn't strong enough and that the humans will die. Do the robots care?

O: [laughs] Apparently not. Anyway, Megatron throws a generator at Starscream, like, after this conversation and orders him to install it. And this thing definitely changes sizes between shots, uh, cuz when Megatron's holding it it looks huge and then it is much smaller when Starscream catches it.

S: They're just...they're--they’re dumb magic robots.

O: I--clearly sigh--like, I didn't know Megatron's mass shifting abilities, uh, affected the things he was holding but apparently they do!

S: Apparently.

O: Megatron looks really off in the scene?

S: It looks like there were smaller drawings that were enlarged and Xeroxed to shit, because yeah--the--the line quality is kind of terrible

O: Yeah, like think--you know, you--if you've seen a Disney movie you have seen Xerox, uh, a lot of the ones that did this were 101 Dalmatians and like, Sword in the Stone. Um, they don't look terrible but there's definitely a noticeable quality drop and if you do it and you take a really small image and make it really big you get a lot of noise in the lines which is exactly what happened here. Megatron tells Dr. Evil to stay away from Starscream. He proceeds to ignore this.

S: Megatron actually gave you some good damn advice and you ignore it and still pursue the two-bit hussy another Starscream.

O: He is. [laughter]

S: He really is.

O: Apparently Rumble’s visor can freaking pop out and work like binoculars!?!

S: It's like Bender’s eyes--his--

O: Yeah. Yeah.

S: His x-ray vision.

O: [laughter] “I'll use my robot x-ray vision look in this box!” [sound effect]

S: Yeah, [sighs] and the first time a wave hits and works as expected generating Energon.

O: Then the second tidal wave, the one the Autobots are actually in front of approaches. Megatron seems nonplussed by this as he expects the Autobots will likely be crushed. Uh, “This is bad!,” yeah, no shit Optimus!

S: Understatement of the century!

O: The Autobots however are perfectly fine despite being slammed in this of the sea tunnel.

S: Funnel.

O: Funnel, whoops! [laughter]

S: Most of the humans are also perfectly fine even though the sea funnel was destroyed on impact and it's like--

O: Everybody’s just sort of lying around I think the Autobots are like, gathering people up or something?

S: Maybe, like, there's a lot of wreckage.

O: I don't think they should be alive!

S: Yeah. Uh, evil Shaggy was apparently also there when this happened, or here when it happened and is now holding on to a girder for dear life dangling over the water.

O: He is screaming for Megatron the entire time he's dangling by the way. [laughter]

S: Yeah...Starscream does his best Kraken impression as he arises from the depths and grabs Dr. Evil, sort of rescuing him but I don't really feel like it was much of a rescue.

O: It’s Starscream, are you really safe when you’re with Starscream? The answer is no. We see the other Decepticons escape and yet another spaceship.

S: When did they even have time to build this? Where do they get the resources?

O: Your guess is as good as mine. So once on the ship they say they've gathered enough Energon to revitalize Cybertron according to Reflector, or one of the Reflectors. A Reflector of some sort.

S: Yeah, back on Cybertron Wheeljack reports to Optimus about their progress.

O: We see Spike attempting to sneak into the Decepticon base again and then he's caught in Shockwave’s spotlight?

S: His monoboob spotlight.

O: It’s purple!

S: [sighs] The Decepticons just fucking love purple.

O: [snorts]

S: I mean it’s, yeah. He’s also flanked by what appears to be two Skywarps.

O: One of them will mysteriously turn green and a later shot though.

S: Yaaaaay, for inconsistent coloring. Spike is captured and Sparkplug yet again tells him to join the dark side.

O: “Spike, I am your father!” [laughter]

S: Shockwave orders Sparkplug to kill Spike but Sparkplug fights his mind control.

O: The Autobots show up and Wheeljack uses his new super secret special machine to break the control on Sparkplug.

S: And it's time for hugging and making up and then more escape attempts ensue in the firefight.

O: I would like to take the time to remind you that Spike is voiced by Corey Burton. Shockwave is also voiced by Corey Burton. So in this scene Corey Burton is yelling at Corey Burton--a recursive loop of Corey Burton, if you will.

S: Wheeljack calls for um, air support and then Skyfire drops the fuck in to pick the Autobots and their humans up to go back to Earth.

O: Sparkplug thanks all the Autobots for their help, now that you know, he's no longer evil.

S: Yay for not being evil. We cut to Earth and oh no, it’s...Cliffjumper time. Cliffjumper is here again.

O: However, apparently Optimus’s authority is enough to hold off the little idiot from doing something stupid immediately.

S: Which is kind of a refreshing change.

O: Yeah, right? Normally it's--I'm gonna do something real stupid, I'm gonna punch Megatron in nads, I'm gonna--what else did he do? Oh! I'm gonna shoot Megatron over here from cover where I'm protected this is fine.

S: I'm going to shoot this rock formation that sort of looks like a Decepticon but it is definitely not actually a Decepticon and cause a rockslide.

O: Uh-huh, and almost kill Optimus or Ironhide or whoever was standing there.

S: Yeah, and then whatever the heck he and-- well no he's not the one that uh, rode Soundwave for a while that was Brawn.

O: That was Brawn. Brawn's already on my shit list but for completely different reasons.

S: [laughter] Okay, um, let's get back to--to business. Mirage uses his invisibility to sneak closer. Elsewhere, Starscream is not even attempting to be subtle--complaining that he'll never be able to take over the Decepticons without his own Energon source to Dr. Evil.

O: Starscream, has absolutely no situational awareness. Megatron is literally standing right behind him. [Questionable Megatron impression] “That's mutiny Starscream!” Yeah, no shit my good dude.

S:Megatron was apparently going to blast Starscream but is called away by an emergency. Starscream takes this moment to retreat.

O: Never retreat my ass Screamer, you retreated so many times--yet you keep saying that, in battle, that you never retreat.

S: Maybe he only considers it retreat if he's actually fighting the Decepticons, who know--

O: You mean Autobots?

S: Autobots, oh god, yes.

O: I mean…possibly?

S: Who the hell knows? The writing’s inconsistent and no one does anything that makes sense. Back with the ship Mirage reveals himself after doing exactly nothing, [suppressed laughter] by sneaking on board the ship as Optimus and the rest reveal themselves immediately after.

O: He couldn’t have, I don't know--shot Megatron at close range or something!?! I am aware Megatron clearly has pretty thick armor but he didn't do anything!

S: The jets attack the Autobots, it's really not effective, at all.

O: The Autobots and Decepticons then return fire at each other with Prowl suggesting a retreat but--as they are outnumbered.

S: But, lo! Skyfire descends from on high to deliver reinforcements.

O: And I swear Wheeljack does some sexy poses as he shoots his anti mind control beam from above.

S: We got--we got photo evidence.

O: Yes, yes we do.

S: Yeah. The remaining humans flee as their control is broken. There's some like, weird perspective stuff here again and it just looks really silly.

O: Megs is pissed about losing his prisoners with jobs.

S: Oh, those prisoners my jobs.

O: [laughter]

S: I feel like Megatron would get along well with that dude [the Grandmaster].

O: I don't know if he would, actually.

S: Actually, yeah you're right you probably wouldn't but he'd probably be really...I don't know.

O: I feel like you would be ok with him for precisely two seconds until Jeff Goldblum opened his mouth.

S: I could, I could see that. Though Starscream and Loki would probably--

O: Oh, Starscream when Loki would get along like a house on fire! Definitely!

S: Lots of screaming and flames and backstabbing. Then he um, then transforms and fires at Skyfire.

O: You know what? I stand corrected. I think this entire time I have been under the impression he could not fire himself. Please insert your own joke--something, something, jerking off, something.

S: Skyfire lands and transforms to join the fray.

O: He says to, “Save Megatron for me!”

S: Why are you so damn gung-ho about this, you're a scientist!?! You declared you're a scientist multiple times!

O: [laughter] I like fanfic where he’s a pacifist, cause that makes so much more sense in my head. We cut to Rumble who is pulling his normal stunt of EARTHQUAKES! In an attempt to attack Bee.

S: Bee takes one look at the crevice that appears and says, “Not again!”

O: Not unlike a pot full of petunias.

S: He then proceeds to grab a vine and Tarzan the shit out of Rumble into the ravine of his own creation.

O: Back with the sexual tension! I mean back with Megatron and Optimus. They exchange words but Megs boards his ship and flees, leaving everyone else to die in the approaching tidal wave...another approaching tidal wave, apparently.

S: There are many of this--there are many in this show, everything's just super fucked up. And Spike gives the bots a pep talk as he grabs yet another Cybertronian weapon. So gung-ho to help--this kid grabs so many weapons.

O: He does.

S: He must have incredible upper-body strength cuz these are like, as big as he is.

O: I'm convinced that’s why Carly married him. There is no other reason why she shoulda hit that.

S: The fact that she’s--we'll get into it--

O: We'll get into Carly later, Carly is lovely.

S: Yeah. Carly is great. Prowl reaches the conclusion that it would take an explosion equivalent to ten billion astro liters to knock Cybertron out of Earth’s orbit.

O: What the fuck is an astro liter!?! I hate all of you. Hate, I say!

S: The thing is astro liter doesn't even make sense as...like, a measurement for an explosion because people don't measure explosions in fucking liters.

O: I don’t know, man! [laughter]

S: [sighs] God... the Autobots get a brilliant idea to blow up Megatron’s starship to cause said explosion because apparently that--okay?

O: They do this, and it does indeed knock Cybertron out of Earth's orbit.

S: It just fucking yeets it out of the orbit.

O: Pretty much. This makes the huge incoming tidal wave disappear immediately.

S: That’s not how those work. That’s not how those WORKKK! [groans]

O: None of the tidal waves in this episode have worked properly. I think we can safely say that. So Specs, you remember that huge, huge explosion, the one that knocked Cybertron out of orbit? Megatron lived through that! You know what? That's it, I yield, you clearly are invincible, sir!

S: Yep, he's just floating around in space a bit dinged up, but otherwise perfectly fine looking.

O: He flies home even! [laughter] He’s perfectly fine! Anyway--

S: He’s the goddamn Terminator.

O: He is the goddamn Terminator! Join us next time for, “Countdown to Extinction!” Starscream attempts to blow up Earth, destroy Megatron, and take over Cybertron--all in one day!

S: He's an ambitious little fucker I'll give him that.

O: Indeed! So Specs, what is our fanfic for today?

S: Okay, today we have two selections. The first is, “And There Was Much to Learn,” by ilyena_sylph and Merfilly. Continuity-wise, this one is G1 cartoon, it's rated G, uh, it is slash fiction. Our pairings here are Skyfire and Starscream and our characters are Skyfire and Starscream. It's very Skyfire and Starscream.

O: Yes.

S: I think you've noticed.

O: [laughter]

S: And so, in summary: Five moments from Skyfire’s ever puzzling relationship with Starscream. And basically the character theme rec for this episode--or this piece of fan fiction is, Starscream and science because science…

O: [laughter] Science! Do you need another reason? No, you don't--it's science!

S: Well, science is the I guess, the common thread between the two of them that I have for today, so science, lots of science. And to move on to our second recommendation, uh, “Faith in Science.” I said there was science!

O: There is indeed more science.

S: The author here for, “Faith in Science,” is Merfilly. Continuity-wise this one is also G1 cartoon, it's rated G, it's gen. Pairings--there aren't any. Characters: Wheeljack, Ratchet, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Perceptor, Prowl, and Beachcomber--more or less in order of their appearance.

O: Fair.

S: And so in summary, “ Wheeljack began in a laboratory but the Autobots need him for his unique scientific bent.”

O: Which I’m assu--I'm assuming is explosions.

S: Yes.

O: The answer is yes.

S: At least from what I remember? I read this a few weeks back and it's like, yes there's explosions involved and like, yeah, blowing shit up and making weapons. Uh, so yeah, this one theme for it is again, science, lots of science!

O: But with Wheeljack!

S: Yes, and that's it for fanfiction recommendations. Do we have fanart recommendations?

O: Yes, we do! Alright, so today's fanart recommendation is--so they do not appear to have any other accounts than their Tumblr which is what I'm going to use, which is Se--

S: sekitei88?

O: We’ll go with that.

S: Is at least how I would guess?

O: That's what I'm gonna go with, um, you can find them on tumblr I am not aware of other accounts, if I find them before we post this I will post that as well. They tend to do a variety of things but I picked all of their Beast Wars stuff because I love Beast Wars and this one in fact, has a lot of Dinobot! Yay! So some of my--they actually have done some of my favorite Beast Wars fanart particularly fluffy feathered Megatron and Dinobot, yes!

Ah, so the three that I have picked as recommendations are quite literally fluffy Dinobot and Megatron, which is--it is, it's delightful. Uh, they also did--okay, so there’s an episode later in the series where Grimlock is in an apron and a bowtie serving drinks. This hap--is a thing that will happen and it is literally adorable and they basically, the next two pieces of fan art they did that silly apron thing with uh, Megatron and Dinobot II for Beast Wars and then in the third piece they did it with a Grimlock from Robots in Disguise. It is delightful, I recommend it, and I have a lot of fun with their art. [laughter]

S: Is it fluffy as in pairing fluffy or they are fluffy as in they are fluffy dinosaurs?

O: Oh, no, no, no, they actually have feathers like, they are--they're physically fluffy. not that they’re--it's not relationship-esque stuff, though you probably could read it that way.

S: Feathery Dinobot looks very nice.

O: it's just a really nice fanart of it honestly.

S: Like, I think you threw pictures--I think you threw the pictures at me.

O: I probably sent you the pictures--I actually have them.

S: Yes, yes, you tossed that at me! You literally linked those to me.

O: I know I did because I was just like these are amazing! But that’s--

S: [laughter]

O: Oh, I’m sorry he's a dragon. I don't know if I said T-Rex or not um, in that?

S: Aw, I like it.

O: I like it too. Eh, I like Grim--Grimsy’s probably my favorite character in Robots in Disguise even though it makes no sense because there's literally two Grimlocks running around in Aligned, but I’m not gonna get into that right now.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark[-]Podcast for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube just to name a few. Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> **Fanfic Recommendations:**
> 
>   * [And There Was Much to Learn](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F442951&t=MjFhMjFlNWNiMDYwYTMxNWUwNzBjZjM2ZTBkZDc0M2M2YzUyYTBlYyxuOVVHRGlnRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgrlFGCo4553Rh2rrnyDl8g&p=https%3A%2F%2Fafterspark-podcast.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183688135058%2Fg1-episode-13-show-notes&m=0) by [ilyena_sylph](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fusers%2Filyena_sylph%2Fpseuds%2Filyena_sylph&t=MTllN2Q3YTExOTM4NTQ2Y2IyZWQ4MWZmMmYyNjJiNjg4MmJmNGJhMCxuOVVHRGlnRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgrlFGCo4553Rh2rrnyDl8g&p=https%3A%2F%2Fafterspark-podcast.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183688135058%2Fg1-episode-13-show-notes&m=0), [Merfilly](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fusers%2FMerfilly%2Fpseuds%2FMerfilly&t=NDkxOWE4ZDEzYmU1ZjE4ZWQzZTVjYTNiYTUxOTBlYzJjNTQyODczMyxuOVVHRGlnRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgrlFGCo4553Rh2rrnyDl8g&p=https%3A%2F%2Fafterspark-podcast.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183688135058%2Fg1-episode-13-show-notes&m=0)
>   * [Faith in Science](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F399887&t=NWM5NTJjMGM2NzQxY2Q3NTY3ZTc4MzczNTgxODIxMDI1Nzc4ZDYzMSxuOVVHRGlnRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgrlFGCo4553Rh2rrnyDl8g&p=https%3A%2F%2Fafterspark-podcast.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183688135058%2Fg1-episode-13-show-notes&m=0) by [Merfilly](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fusers%2FMerfilly%2Fpseuds%2FMerfilly&t=NDkxOWE4ZDEzYmU1ZjE4ZWQzZTVjYTNiYTUxOTBlYzJjNTQyODczMyxuOVVHRGlnRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgrlFGCo4553Rh2rrnyDl8g&p=https%3A%2F%2Fafterspark-podcast.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183688135058%2Fg1-episode-13-show-notes&m=0)
> 

> 
> **Fanartist Recommendation:  Sekitei88[@sekitei88](https://tmblr.co/m-ukOP7NCyG3YTYTE0psq3g)**  
> Favorite Art:
> 
>   * [Feathery Dinobot and Megatron](http://sekitei88.tumblr.com/post/145553371369/%C2%BA-%E0%B1%AA-%C2%BA)
>   * [Silly Apron Dragon Megatron and Dinobot II](http://sekitei88.tumblr.com/post/145043358454)
>   * [Waiter Grimlock](http://sekitei88.tumblr.com/post/132273408724)
> 

> 
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> 
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> 

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> You can also find us on our personal Tumblrs [@twilight-owl](http://twilight-owl.tumblr.com/) and [@specspectacle](http://specspectacle.tumblr.com/)!


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